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Dallena Hess Chattanooga,
Tennessee Like so many former RLDS members, I was born and
raised in the church. I was a 4th generation member. I belonged to a
loving and close-knit congregation in SW Arkansas until I was almost 14. My
family then moved to Oklahoma where we got involved in another RLDS
congregation. I was used to having kids my own age in church, which I did not
have in Oklahoma, and I missed that. I went to a college not far from my hometown in
Oklahoma and got involved with the Baptist Student Union. They provided
fellowship with people my age. A lot of BSU members knew that I was RLDS but
thought they wouldn't have a problem with that since I thought I was a
Christian. I was trying to explain the Book of Mormon to one friend; telling her
the story of the Ancient Americans and trying explain RLDS history. She asked me
how Jesus fit into all that. Other BSU members then started witnessing to me,
praying that I would get saved. I had planned to attend the RLDS’ Graceland
College after my freshman year, so my BSU friends prayed even harder for me. I
finally decided to pray the sinner's prayer with one of them. However, looking
back, I know I did that to simply get them “off my back.” I changed my
plans, however, and stayed at this college through my sophomore year, and then
went to Graceland in my junior year. I graduated from Graceland, and it took me six months
to get my first job in Texarkana. I was really glad to be back in Texarkana
since I was from that area, and there was an RLDS branch there. I had a lot of
difficulties with my job during 1993—I got depressed and stressed out to the
point where I almost committed suicide. I had some sort of spiritual rebirth for
about 6 months, where I read my Bible and stuff. Then, I had to heal from almost
killing myself, which was hard. But with God's help I made it through. I got fed up with the Texarkana branch several times,
almost to the point of considering leaving the church. I would either talk out
my feelings with several members or go to the Winthrop RLDS branch where a lot
of my family goes to recharge. After
living in Texarkana for 7 years, I decided to transfer to San Antonio because my
work site was closing. A really good RLDS branch was there, but it took some
adjustment since I was initially quite homesick for Texarkana. I was unhappy for
a while. I went back to college and took a couple of courses which I really
liked I began not wanting to go to church; it would require
a lot of effort to get ready and actually go. Once I was there, however, I was
glad I had gone. During that time God was softening my heart. I started reading
articles in the Herald that made me uneasy about the church. I did not like that
the church was accepting homosexuality more and more, and was becoming more
liberal. I did not attend church for 3 weeks, and did not feel bad about it. I
then called a friend who had left the church 2 years earlier. She asked me if it
was the RLDS church that I had a problem with. I told her that it was and she
shared with me some stuff about the church that she had learned. I decided to
email my cousin, who is an RLDS Youth Minister, and share my feelings with him.
It was hard trying to decide if I would leave the church or not. After my
cousin's negative response I felt I knew what kind of response I would probably
get from my family and friends who were still in the church. During this time I
received a lot of material from Carol Hansen, since my friend had given her my
name and address. I started to read Carol's book, RLDS Church: Is it
Christian? When I discovered the truth about both Joseph Smith and the RLDS
church, I got bitter and mad because I felt I had been betrayed and lied to all
my life. I got this book on Monday, and the following Friday/Saturday I made the
decision to leave the church. I also knelt beside my bed and accepted Jesus into
my life to be sure that I was saved. While I was struggling with the idea of
leaving the church, a song lyric kept running through my head that goes
"Are you living a lie you can't defend?" After I decided to leave the
church, that lyric didn't run through my head anymore. The next weekend I went home for a family reunion. I
decided that I would wait until after the family reunion was over to tell my
immediate family. However, on the way home, my mother asked me if I was still
going to church. I told her that I had decided to leave the RLDS church because
I didn't believe in Joseph Smith, the D & C, Book of Mormon, the church's
doctrine and the whole nine yards. She later asked me who had influenced me. I
told her I had talked to a friend who left the church, and told her a little
about why my friend had left. A family member told me not to condemn any family
member who belonged to the RLDS church for their beliefs. Fortunately, my sister-in-law was not an RLDS member
and I knew I could count on her for moral support. She had been taught all her
life that Mormonism is a Cult. I told her about the Inspired Version and she
asked me if you could buy it at Christian Bookstores. I told her No. After
thinking for a minute, she asked me if that told me something. I told her that I
knew that Joseph Smith translated the Inspired Version for the sole purpose of
supporting his faulty beliefs and the Book of Mormon. After deciding to leave
the RLDS church, I was happier and more peaceful than I had been in a long time.
San Antonio had finally become home and I really loved living there. It was hard to find a new church home. I felt that I
knew what I was looking for, though, in a church. I went to one Baptist church
close to my house and knew it wasn't for me. I stayed home one Sunday and
watched a church service on TV. I really liked what I saw and heard, and found
out that it was the First Baptist Church in San Antonio. I decided to attend
there next Sunday morning, and I did. I again liked what I saw and heard at FBC.
I started attending there and got really involved in the church. I was meeting
new people and discovered that FBC was a very friendly church. I decided to withdraw my membership from the RLDS
Church. I told them I could no longer belong to a church which clearly taught
that what Jesus did on the Cross wasn't good enough, and that you had to earn
your way to heaven. It felt wonderful to get my withdrawal certificate. I went
forward and joined FBC the following Sunday and was re-baptized 5 weeks later.
My baptism was the Sunday before Thanksgiving, which was really appropriate
since I had a lot to be thankful for that year. God was trying to get my attention on other things as
well during this time. Two weeks after I was baptized, I fell as I was going
down a hill while leaving work for the day. I completely busted my right ankle
and had surgery to repair it. I had let my apartment get really bad and wasn't
taking care of myself either. My landlords were upset with me and I had to leave
San Antonio. I knew there was something wrong with me that caused me to neglect
areas of my life that shouldn't be neglected. As I laid there in bed, a suicidal
thought popped into my head. I knew it was wrong, and so I prayed to God to take
control. I then knew it was going to be okay. I moved to Chattanooga to be near my sister since she
and her family lives here. I then went to see a psychologist who diagnosed me
having both anxiety and depression. He recommended that I take Paxil for it,
which I still take. I was changing slowly, and knew I could take care of another
place if given a chance. My psychologist recommended that I live near my sister.
We found another place and it was perfect. I moved in and slowly everything
started to come into place. My bone doctor is a top-notch doctor, and he sent me
to one of best physical therapists in Chattanooga. I went to church with my sister. It was nice, but not
for me. After my ankle healed enough to where I could walk on it, I started
going to a Baptist Church just down the road. I marveled again because this
church is a really great church with a strong salvation message and good solid
biblical teaching. I grew to love the church and knew that I would join it
because it is really strong on missions. I felt drawn to this particular church
since I thought I felt God calling me to cult evangelism. God seems to have other plans, though, because I met
a couple that is both Deaf and Hearing-Impaired. I am also Hearing Impaired, and
I can sign a little. They invited me to get involved in Deaf Ministry. I'm
learning to sign and am going to attend a church, which has a large Deaf
attendance. I became a member of Highland Park Baptist Church and have never
regretted my decision to join that church because I knew Highland Park Baptist
is where God wants me to be. A friend who also is a member of Highland Park told
me that I make a lot of Christians look bad because I'm excited because I never
take my salvation and my relationship with Christ for granted. I never want to
take my Christian faith and walk with the Lord for granted because I know what
it is like to live under false teaching. I know the truth and it has really set
me free (John 8:32)! I
know I am an encourager, in that I bring people hope. I'm thankful that God
allowed me to be hearing-impaired, and suffer from anxiety and depression. I may
always walk with a limp, but that is fine with me since I'm also thankful that
God let me bust my ankle. I have learned to have hope and not give up. I have
also learned to take things one day at a time and depend on God to meet my
needs. It is easier to depend on God when you have a handicap. My ankle and
hearing impairment forces me to do just that. But I know that I'm not alone. I
have a Wonderful Savior. I know Him, and He loves me. I have felt the pain, and
despair and I have made it through by holding on to Jesus. I'm thankful for
almost everything now, which is important since my psychologist told me never to
cease being thankful. I want to tell all those people that are discouraged with
the RLDS/Community of Christ that there is life outside of the church. You will
gain so much more by coming to Jesus and having a relationship with Him. You
will know more peace, joy, love, security, and forgiveness and grace than you
ever had while you were inside the RLDS/Community of Christ. The truth really
does make you free (John 8:32)!
You can send Dallena an email at dhess91@bellsouth.net. |