Hello Dianne,
Thank you so much for writing. I was moved as I read your
letter. I admire your courage and integrity for exploring your faith, and coming
to some very difficult decisions.
Please know that you are not alone.
While they may not be visible to you right now, there are thousands of people
who have been down the path you are on right now. We will pray for you as you
take your next steps.
I believe you are wise in formally resigning from
the Community of Christ church. Below I have included a section on this matter
from chapter 6 in my book The Long Way Home: Moving from a Pseudo-Christian
Cult into Genuine Christianity. You can view this entire book online on our
website. I hope this passage will discuss some things for you to consider as you
draft your letter of resignation. And as I mention below, I would be honored to
read your letter before you send it, should you want me
to.
Remove Your Name
Part of unpacking your bags—breaking the spiritual bonds and entanglements with your old church—is requesting your name be removed from its membership records. As long as your name is on the official membership roster of your old church you are still connected to it spiritually—and, in a sense, legally. I’m not saying you need to do this the day after leaving. You’ll know when the time is right. My wife and I picked times that were right for each of us but months apart from the other. That’s okay. It’s not a race to see who can be first. Give it plenty of thought and prayer. It is a truly sober experience that you only do once in your life. It may be especially sobering if you spent a substantial part of your life there, and if your family has a long history in it.
When the time is right, find out the proper administrative procedure to have your name removed from your old church’s rolls. You will likely have to write a letter expressing your desire. It can be short, sweet and to the point. The only thing they really need to understand is that you want out. Or you can go into more detail if you prefer. Some people take the opportunity to vent their anger and frustration with the church’s leadership for deceiving them and others, for perpetuating a fraud. I have read a number of letters like this. I say, if it makes you feel better, let it rip. If their leadership gets enough letters like this, perhaps some of them will evaluate their own faith. But remember, it is all right to express your anger and frustration, but reflect Christian character as you do so.
Other people may want to take the opportunity to explain why they believe the church is wrong and not truly Christian—why they can’t remain a part of it and retain their spiritual integrity. If you do this, tell them how the Lord worked with you to understand those problems, and how He led you to the truth. This is the best of testimonies. You are simply testifying to what the Lord has done in your life. And because the Holy Spirit Himself did this work, perhaps He will also carry your testimony into the heart of the official reading your letter. You never know what good can come from this. You may very well end up being a missionary to them!
You might find it useful to wait a day or two before you send your letter. That lets you cool off a bit and maybe edit out some inappropriate comments. You may also ask someone else read your letter before you send it. This is a good idea, and creates a sense of accountability. They may recommend you alter some wording or perhaps make other changes. They may just help keep you from saying something you might regret later. Sometimes it’s just good to let someone else know what you’re doing. The Lord will lead you here.
Writing a letter like this may seem like a small step to take, but it is a significant one. You will likely experience greater spiritual freedom and freshness after you do. It is a gesture that closes the door officially on a part of your life to which you will never return. Be happy the Lord led you out, and be prepared to move on to a much better place.
Please feel free to write again if you would like to discuss things further. And please let us know how we can pray for you in the months ahead.
May God’s richest blessings be yours,
Paul Trask