Shauna Brentana
Lee's Summit, Missouri
What a journey this has been! I am amazed at what the Lord has done in my life, and how He has rescued me and brought me home to Jesus Christ!
I was born into an RLDS family where my childhood and church involvement was fairly typical. My father, a priesthood member, was pastor of a South Texas congregation for a time. I was baptized at age eight after our family had moved to Independence, Mo. My parents gave me the “Three Standard Books” as a gift, with my name inscribed on the covers. I was taught the doctrine of the church concerning Zion, a Salvation of faith plus works and the three glories of Heaven. I remember my mother teaching me many Book of Mormon stories, and I grew up believing that I was a member of the true church. I believed myself to be a Christian, because I knew that Jesus Christ had died for the sins of the world. I remember commenting that I had to be a Christian, because after all, our church’s name even “said so” in its title…. “The Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ.”
I went to many camps as a youth, where I had many “spiritual experiences” that only solidified my belief that I was in the true church of God. I remember on one occasion, at Spectacular as a Senior in High School, while talking very late into the night, my youth leader “spoke under the influence of the Spirit” and revealed to me that I would one day be called to the priesthood IF I lived my life in a way that followed God. As she was talking, I felt that overwhelming “burning of the bosom” that I had heard others describe. I was convinced that what she said was true, and it was a high point in my life. At this time in my life, all I still had was an intellectual relationship with God, I did not know Jesus as Savior.
I tried, to no avail, to study the scriptures as ateenager. I opened my Inspired Version countless times, and nothing made sense. I had no idea what the scriptures meant, and had no way to apply them to my life. I always thought that I just “wasn’t the type” to be able to understand them, and eventually gave up – relying on what I heard in church, and accepted it wholeheartedly.
I continued the next year at Graceland College, where I metmy future husband, Tom Brentana. Tom and I “played church” at college, attending more as a social event. But it was at this time in my life my hunger to really know God began. I was trying to make sense of many things in my life. Thus began my search for the truth.
As I had little or no knowledge of the Bible, I bought whatthe world had to say about religion. I tended to be very liberal in my ideas, that surely a loving God would not forsake humankind, whom he had created. I began to believe that there could be “many” paths to God. I remember listening to Christian radio, on occasion on my way home from my job as a public school teacher, and I would become so upset when I would hear that there was only “one way.” I wondered how anyone could be so narrow-minded. Because I had no foundation in the Bible, and had never been taught a Biblical “worldview” I had nothing to base my beliefs on, except my “feelings.”
At about the same time, I became very involved in theSenior High program at Lee’s Summit RLDS Congregation. I felt a strong call to this and Tom and I served for many years as Sr. High leaders. I see now that the Lord was really teaching me more than I was teaching them! I had purchased an NIV Study Bible, and as I began to study it, my hunger to understand and know the Bible was unbelievable! I still believed that the Inspired Version was more complete, but because I could read the NIV more clearly, I just studied out of that one, and made it “fit” my RLDS beliefs. I then began to have the great desire to share the Bible with the Sr. High. As Herald House had virtually NO resources for teaching the Bible to Sr. High, I began looking at the Christian Bookstores, and found resource after resource! Because I was using non-RLDS materials, I began to slowly see who Jesus Christ really was. I would go from teaching the Sunday School class downstairs, which seemed to be “alive” to the sermon upstairs that was “dull and bland.” Thus began my frustration. Although at the time, I thought it was a worship style I needed, I now know it was the true spiritual food that comes from being in a relationship with Jesus Christ that I was so desperate for.
I started to attend various Christian conferences. Somewere women’s conferences, others were related to youth work. I would sit in these conferences and see people who obviously had something that I did not. I still did not understand why I felt such a void, because I believed that I was a Christian in the “true church”…how could these people possibly experience a deeper relationship with God? The more I studied, the more I became frustrated. I then came to the conclusion that I needed to try harder in church, that somehow, I just wasn’t doing something right or else I would be fed.
About this time, I brought home a booklet that my motherhad received somewhere written by Carol Hansen, titled, “RLDS: Christian….or Cult?” I skimmed the book just enough to become enraged! I couldn’t believe that someone would actually call us a cult! I brought it home to show Tom – who picked it up and actually read it! When he started really pondering some of the questions and admitting that the book “made sense” I became extremely angry with him. How dare he even question the “true church.” I thought that surely Satan was attacking him. Unknown to me, he kept the book in his briefcase for quite some time, and continued to read and consider what it had to say. He had also called the author and talked to her on the phone. I didn’t find all of this out until two years later!
Through those two years, the Lord continued to work on myheart and soften it to the truth. I still didn’t know what the “truth” was, but I knew that I was struggling with what was being preached, and my frustration with the church only intensified. I knew that there had to be something more. Then I was finally called to the priesthood. I accepted the call, believing that it would lead me to understand what God’s role was for me here. Tom was also called – but he ultimately declined his call. Once again, I became angry and very fearful. I could not fathom how my husband could say no to God! I feared what would happen to him, how God would judge his disobedience. I now know, that because of what he believed about the church and Joseph Smith – he could not accept the call. He supported me, however, and I began my classes and was ordained.
The Lord taught me many things during this time. Because ofthe classes I took, I began to see what the church really believed about salvation, and the Bible (primarily the unreliability of the Bible.) This really bothered me. I see now how far the Lord had already brought me from my days of believing that it didn’t matter what kind of beliefs you had, and that there were many roads to God. I continued, however, and was ordained.
Our pastor, at the time, was one who actually preached amessage of Grace and accepting Christ as Savior. This was all new to me, and it fell on eager ears! The weeks that he preached, I would sit and “drink it up.” I grew hungrier and hungrier for the Lord. As I prayed for a testimony that this was the church that God wanted me to be a part of, none came. In fact, the only thing that came was more frustration. I remember crying out in the car after many, many Sundays that the particular speaker NEVER even mentioned Jesus’ name during the service! How could this be? I continued to pray, and slowly I began to have a desire to worship elsewhere. When the desires first came about, I fought them. I didn’t tell Tom, and I held them at bay for about six months. I was very confused, and this was NOT the answer that I expected God to give me. I just couldn’t get over the “true church” thing. Finally one evening, while returning home from a friend’s house, I was singing the song, “Open the Eyes of My Heart Lord” as a prayer to Him. Immediately, the urge to leave the church was SO strong that I could no longer drive and had to pull into a parking where I sobbed and sobbed. Surely God could not be telling me to leave the church! This made no sense to me. I cried out to the Lord, “I don’t know how to stay – I don’t know how to leave, Lord – I don’t even know where to go!” The Lord then gently brought the thought of the First Baptist Church of Lee’s Summit to my mind. This was not a vision but rather just a gentle thought that came. In my mind, I could see the building. I said to the Lord, “Okay – I’ll go check out the times on their sign.” I drove by, saw when their services were, and came home.
I had no idea how to tell Tom. I had kept all of thisinside. He knew I wasn’t happy in the church, but he had no idea how I had struggled with feelings to leave. As I came home, eyes swollen from so much sobbing, I could hardly get the words out. Finally, I said, “I think I have to leave the church, at least try out some other places!” His response was that he had wanted to do that for quite some time, but he was afraid to tell me, because I was so involved in the church. The Lord had been working on both of us, in different ways, to bring us to this same point in time.
We attended First Baptist the following Sunday, and theservice fed me like I had never been fed before! The pastor’s topic was “Faithing It” and how Abraham was obedient to God when he told him to get up and MOVE his family, even if he didn’t quite understand why. He could have been talking only to us. Each week, as I became involved in their women’s Bible Study and eventually their Sunday School, the Lord confirmed over and over through preaching and particular Bible passages we were studying, that this was the place he wanted us. One thing that really struck me, was how God seemed to be speaking to me through the Bible – his Word. I had never experienced the power of God’s Word before. All I had ever known were “warm feelings” from testimonies of others. Tom related to me one night, after we had been attending for a few weeks, that the experience was like “sitting in a desert, withering away from the lack of water and food – so slowly that you didn’t even know you were dying, when all of a sudden, you realize that there is an oasis just over the next sand dune, and for the first time in your life, you are drinking living water. That is exactly what it was like.
Now, to the most important part. Shortly after attending,while in the middle of giving praise to God for our new church, I was stunned as Matthew 7:21-23 came to my mind: “Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven…. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!.” I realized, that although I loved God and had taught about God countless times in Sunday School, and had even given prayers and testimonies from the pulpit, that I did not know Jesus, and Jesus did NOT know me! I stopped in my tracks, and 24 hours later, after absorbing this, I knelt next to the bed and poured my heart out to God, praying the sinner’s prayer. I asked Jesus to become my Savior, and Lord of my life. From that moment I was a new creation. I had an elation and joy inside that cannot be compared. For the first time in my life, I knew the One and Only, and He knew ME! I experienced the outpouring of God’s grace that only those who have come to know Jesus as Savior can even come close to understanding. I was, and still am, in awe of my Heavenly Father. Words can hardly express the love I have for my Lord Jesus Christ!
My husband reminded me of that “blue book” that he hadread. He still had it, and wanted to know if I wanted to read it. I did. As I read this time, the spiritual blinders had fallen from my eyes and I saw the TRUTH! After a painful and difficult look at the reality of the doctrines and history of the church I was raised in, I came to the realization that I had been deceived all of my life. I don’t believe that the RLDS people actively sought to deceive me. I believe they are just as lost as I was, and most are not ready to see or hear the truth. We have since withdrawn our membership officially from the RLDS church and I resigned my priesthood.
Most of our family and friends in the church do notunderstand, and I’m sure they think that we are the ones that are lost. It is very difficult, because I want so badly to share with them what their lives can be like when they allow Jesus Christ to become their Lord and Savior, and how the chains of bondage will fall from them, and they will be freed from life in spiritual and emotional captivity. I just pray that somehow, someway, God will soften their hearts and bring them to the truth about who Christ is, just as he did for me.
For the first time in my life, I know the true freedom thatcomes from being made new in Christ. I know what it is to grow in true Christianity, as I am being taught so much at my church. I am experiencing what it means to live life in God’s grace, and it is unbelievable. I cannot not think of a time when I have had more joy and peace in my life. Study and prayer are integral to my life. Now that I accept the Bible as the complete and inerrant Word of God, I am utterly amazed at how the Lord uses His Word to mold and shape my daily life. Real freedom in life comes from traveling the narrow road. My husband and I are currently praying about the decision to join the church we are attending. God has blessed us beyond words. He floods me with grace and mercy every day of my life, and I know what it means to walk with Jesus, whom I love above all else. The Lord is faithful. Seek his face and he will not fail you!
“Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.” (Psalm 63:1-4)
You can send Shauna an e-mail at 5brens@sbcglobal.net.