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Ron Luff Chillicothe, Ohio A Turning Point “Devastation exfoliates providential efficacy”.
This proverb from an Alfred Knopf novel comes to mind as I ponder the
major turning point in my life. God
works through a variety of circumstances, to redirect our spiritual growth and
enhance our relationship with Him. In
my life, this change occurred after a period of tragedy, confusion and even
disenchantment about God. Yet,
through His written word and the presence of the Holy Spirit, I came to see Him
in a new and fulfilling way. My view of God and His grace had been formed by the doctrines of Mormonism.
One night, at the age of fourteen, and while attending a Wednesday night
prayer service, I felt a profound sense of the Lord’s love and His call for my
life. Through the years that
followed, I endured the temptations and vacillations of commitment that young
teenagers often endure. Nevertheless,
God remained a deeply important part of my life throughout. Following the footsteps of four generations of family history, I embraced the
doctrines of Mormonism as the inspired word of God.
The book of Mormon became my preference, as I sought God’s purpose for
my life. Once an adult, I took my place in the priesthood, preached
sermons and taught an adult Sunday School class. My wife and I were in charge of the youth group of our
congregation and even did the weekly cleaning of the church building.
I was a devoted husband and the father of two very precious children. I challenge the idea that anyone “joins” a cult; in that it suggests a
cognizant compliance with the group’s goals and principles.
If they’re already formed, these goals and principles will be hidden by
the façade of indoctrinating techniques. Yet,
in small group settings, they tend to grow and develop as the cult leader gains
greater control over his followers. The
power derived from his follower’s devotion is intoxicating and leads to an
ever-changing agenda, as he seeks to maintain control.
This was the type of setting in which I became involved. Space won’t allow an explanation of how that came to be.
To some degree, I feel that I’d been part of a cult my whole life, due
to the doctrines I was raised with and had come to embrace as true.
Yet, my ignorance and over zealous fervor to serve God, led me into the
extreme. God’s grace was a grace
of works…and firm mandates were in place, which required evidence to one’s
faith. The bible speaks of evidence
too, but the evidence of faith required, according to the Book of Mormon, is far
more ostentatious. As a true
believer, I sought the realization of these fulfillments and my fervency led me
into this small cult setting. While in the group, devotion was intensified and all personal property was
relinquished to the leader. The increase in control led to an increase in abuse.
Abuse eventually led to murder by the leader, and murder carried us
beyond the point of no return. Families
then dissolved into the greater “household” of the cult leader, and other
abuses evolved. Like a furious storm, which had run its course, the power that once held us
together as a group, seemed to dissipate. Unavoidable
circumstances hindered the leader’s control and the group disbanded.
Leaving the group was a traumatic choice. It left me deeply confused about God and what had happened to
my life and family. My career was
gone and we were void of any material possessions.
Then came the arrests…for the killings that had occurred. My turning point took place in an isolation cell of the Lake County Jail, in
Ohio. All my life, I’d thought I
truly loved the Lord, yet there I sat, unable to understand what had gone wrong
and how my desire to serve God had taken me so far astray.
For a time, it was even too painful to read from the scriptures.
My mind kept seeing the aberrant teachings of the cult and reflecting
back through all the horror they’d produced. The “Law of Moses” had been redefined within the group. Everything we’d
done and endured, had been performed in obedience to this “law”.
When I felt ready to study again, I was still unable to use my own books,
due to the markings and notes compiled through the thousands of hours worth of
class-time in the group. The jail
chaplain brought me a paperback Good News Bible, which gave me the feeling of a
clean slate…a new beginning. Like a distant memory in the back of my mind, I recalled the simple truth,
that the law is fulfilled in Christ Jesus.
A new desire began to grow in my heart, in the form of a question.
The thought kept entering my mind. “What
is that law, which Christ fulfilled?” I
took everything I had ever thought I knew about God and placed it off to the
side. Using only the Bible, with no
influence of the Book of Mormon or other doctrines, I sought the answer to this
question. During the following months that I remained in that cell, I read through the
Bible, twice. My little world had
come to an end, yet the refreshing waters of God’s word restored my soul.
I began to see the distinct differences between the Book of Mormon, and
the genuine Bible message. It was a
message I hadn’t really known before. I began writing poetry, as a means for expressing this newfound view of
God’s word. The jail Chaplain and
his wife took special interest in myself and others of the group who were also
there. When the Bible he’d given
at the start became worn out, he bought me a sturdy parallel Bible that I still
use today. Luke 24: 44-45 took on
new meaning for me, as my mind seemed to absorb the intricate consistency of the
newfound Bible message. The Lord
touched the confusion of my mind, healed me and opened my eyes to see what
he’d intended for me all along. I
finally saw the fulfilling beauty of His Grace.
At last, I saw not a “great and marvelous work” yet to be performed;
but rather, what is already accomplished in our risen Lord. In the years that have passed since the Lord renewed my mind, my wife has
left me and the relationship with my children has been severed.
Oddly enough, imprisonment wasn’t the source of these painful
losses…but rather my rejection of Mormon doctrine.
I’ve endured times when hope and purpose in life seemed nowhere to be
found…times when God felt very distant and the ache in my heart was
overwhelming. Yet, that precious
truth I came to know in the County Jail, still abides with me today. You
can write to Ron at:
Ronald B. Luff 237-062
P.O. Box 7010 RCI Chillocothe, OH 45601
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